Nature of the Beast
by Fairady
Summary: What was it about love that made others so strong? Gaara just doesn't understand it.


Disclaimer: I neither own nor claim to own any of these characters. They belong to a brilliant man in Japan named Kishimoto. 

Warnings: Drabble, slight shounen-ai. Don't like? Don't read. Simple as that.

Notes: Lilmonk requested a Kimimaro x Gaara drabble and here it is. I could only see two ways of doing it though. Either the dream sequence, which I went with in the end, or a meeting of two souls on the edge of death's domain.

Nature of the beast  
by fairady

* * *

He still didn't understand it.

_"-but if you hurt my precious people, I will destroy you!"_

He'd thought he knew the meaning of love. The insidious poison offered by others with honeyed and false words. Invisible strings that attached people to others and caused the worst pain posible. It was a deadly trap that lay everywhere, even for a monster such as himself. The only way to survive had been to love himself and no other.

That's what he'd done for years. He'd spent his life loving only himself and lashing out at the world around him when it got too close. Even his own family, especially his own family. His only companion had been the faint voice of Shukaku telling him he was wothless and urging him to kill more.

It had been painfully lonely, but that was love and that is what made him stronger than everyone else.

He'd been wrong. Naruto had shown him that.

Dark to light, night to day. They were the twin images of a broken mirror. They'd travelled the same path through life up to the point where it branched. Naruto had taken one and Gaara the other. A simple choice had led them through very different lives until they met up again to prove which one had been the better path. They were the same but Naruto had proven he was the better.

It didn't matter how much Gaara loved himself, Naruto's love for others was stronger.

He understood that, but he didn't understand why. Why did it make a person stronger, how did they do it? He understood the theory behind it, but he was having trouble grasping the specifics.

Gaara sat back and watched the water stream down the window of the room Konoha had been gracious enough to offer. It was a strange sight for him to watch.

When it rained in the desert it was mostly short bouts of thin water that evaporated within hours of falling. This storm had started six hours ago and was still going strong. Fat drops of cold water that pounded against the glass and anything unfortunate enough to be outside. It was a wonder the whole village wasn't washed away by the torrent.

_"What the hell would you know!"_

He didn't understand it. It was like the fabled meaning of dreams, ellusive and cryptic.

Gaara tilted his head back to rest against the wall and closed his eyes. He couldn't sleep, but he'd learned long ago that not all dreams were found in unconciousness.

The ground was dry and unmarked from the battle that would soon take place. Lee was behind him, but not standing. He lay on the ground unconcious as Gaara faced their enemy. Neither moved to attack.

Gaara took his time to study the man before him. Pale flesh knit back over exposed bones, hiding the red insides that provided the only color to him. Gaara wondered if, Nara had called him Kimimaro, it was a family trait or if he'd been born an albino.

"Why?" Gaara asked.

"That is a lot of questions," Kimimaro replied. "Which one do you want me to answer?"

Gaara considered his options carefully. He had a vague feeling this 'dream' wouldn't last long. "Why does it make you strong? What is so special about loving another person?"

"Have you never had another person to love?"

"No," the mark on his head ached dully. "The closest one tried to kill me."

"Then all you know is loneliness," Kimimaro muttered. "To be lonely is to be selfish. When all that you have is yourself you don't fight as hard as you could, because the only thing at risk is yourself. If you lose, it doesn't matter."

Gaara leaned back against the tree and studied the forest of bones growing out of the ground. Kimimaro leaned back next to him and continued, "When you love someone you put their lives over your own. If you die you're dead and you feel nothing. If they die you're alive and you feel everything. It's the fear of those feelings that allows you to fight on past what you think you can."

"Is that really it?" That didn't seem like the bright and noble idea that Naruto and Lee tried to claim it as.

"No," Kimimaro leaned forward and touched the mark on his forehead, "but until you find someone to love that will be the only way you can understand it."

"How do I do that?" Gaara leaned forward trusting his weight to the sand that held them both above the deadly bones.

"You can't," Kimimaro leaned forward and gently kissed him. "Love finds you."

Gaara opened his eyes. The rain had stopped, and Temari was at the door hesitantly knocking while Kankurou nervously shuffled behind her.

Perhaps he would learn to understand.


End file.
